What would happen if we all did this next year? Walked into our new year, new grade, new school without the ridiculous expectations we put onto ourselves as moms? We just got home from a whirlwind trip to the beach, simply because I could not take one. more. minute. of the nonsense (usually self inflicted).
The end of the year is always chaotic and filled with expectations and events, such is the nature of my job, but this year was just hard. I didn’t really want Cole to go to school the last two days, although I joked that when your mama works for the school, you’re going to school anyway, but he wanted to go. As an adult I tried to avoid his school the last month, that month which is supposed to be filled with joy, was mixed with great loss and sadness. He put his head down and charged forward, determined to feel all the feelings, of seeing his precious library boxed up, his colorful hallways blank, and then filled with boxes labeled with other schools, and his last day on his favorite playground with favorite friends. I do not do well when my child is hurting and I don’t have the tools in my toolbox to fix it. In short, I was sad/mad (they are neighbors, you know). I tried valiantly to say “wow your new playground is so big!! And so many of your friends will be there!!”, but he can always sense my tone and face (darn my intuitive kiddo).
I need this summer to put down my sadness and anger and move on, for me and most importantly, for Cole. I promise to greet every mama next year with the happiness and hope they need, in that fear of a new school. We are headed to a body of water after church, both sooth my soul (you need this book #girlwashyourface)