Hey ya’ll. I feel like I have told this story a thousand times, so I might as well tell all of you. I am divorced from Cole’s daddy, have been for four years, and it has not always been an easy road. Things kind of changed in our relationship when I watched the movie “The War Room” last year with my church. (I am so easily swayed by movies and books I have to be very careful what I put in my noggin). I realized that I had been hoping and wishing that he would change, that his parenting would change, that his personality and actions towards me would change, but not praying a thing about it. Sometimes I can be as patient and understanding as Job when it comes to absolute strangers, but not Cole and my parents and definitely not Allen.
In the last year, God has opened my eyes about so much, and with the meager beginnings of our single mom small group, it freaked (and still does) me out so much that these precious women might be looking to me for guidance in the Lord with their relationship with their childrens’ fathers. In short, God told me I had to get it together already.
Cole and I are beach lovers, he has been since he was tiny tiny. I would move to the beach in an absolute heartbeat. But Cole’s dad, Allen, has never been to the beach, seen the ocean, or even been on a vacation. He grew up in a completely different kind of family than I did. There was simply not enough money to load up the giant station wagon and head out on an adventure. Cole and I go every year, on multiple adventures! But every time it breaks my heart to be playing with Cole and have him pause, and look at other kids and their dads. I know that life is about choices, and we have all certainly made them, but I suddenly wanted to make this happen for Cole and his dad.
Everyone looked at me like I was stinking crazy when I told them I was taking Allen to the beach with us, especially my mama, and my single mom group. I had been praying and praying about it, hoping that I had not stepped out in faith in vain. Cole started a countdown on my phone, and would chirp out the number every day, exclaiming “Daddy is going to have so much fun at the beach!!! Can you believe he has never been!!!”. It all kind of also clicked for me that for the first time, I would actually get a vacation! I would be able to breathe a little, and not be the only organizer, provider, chaser and gatherer of things on the beach.
We got here yesterday and hurried to change and get to the water (I did agree with Cole that we would have to limit our singing and car dancing because a person can only take so much, ha), and we finally got to the water, they both ran to the ocean (yes I took pictures), and at some point, while I was watching in amazement, I felt at peace, knowing we had done the right thing. Cole ran back to me once, hugged me tight, and said “thank you for bringing daddy to the beach with us. Look at how much fun he is having!!!”. Of course, I cried, remember how fun I am.
I stepped out in complete faith, and God showed out big time. Have a fabulous Monday, friends ❤️🐬👦🏼👩🏼👨🏼