Mommy life

Surviving the holiday season as a single mama (or daddy)

The holiday season is supposed to be the most thankful, joyous time of year. I personally consider the holiday season the time of year from October-December. If you have little ones, they love Halloween, then November comes, with the promise of family and thankfulness, only to be followed by the magic of Christmas. It is the most wonderful time of the year, literally.

But if you are a single mama, your holiday season might not be so joyous and bright.  First is the financial strain of the season. Since my whole life got an overhaul last year, thanks to Dave Ramsey and Ruth Soukup, I try every day to create simplicity in my child’s life, to get down on the floor and play with him, instead of spending money on things he doesn’t need (and will not play with after the first couple of days).  Halloween costumes get more grand every year, then Thanksgiving is not an inexpensive meal to create, and the sometimes burden of Christmas is just heavy for a one income family.

The biggest issue is obviously time. You cannot get time with your children back.  I am so jealous of mamas who get to have their children 100% of the time, all to themselves, but having children with someone means sharing them (which stinks most of the time). I run in this circle of amazing mamas who are mostly all married, which is great for their kiddos, but can be difficult for them to understand where on earth I am coming from. Now, they will show up at my house and make me attend things I don’t want to go to alone, and are always sure to include me and Cole in family events, since he and I have our own little family.  They listen when I am angry and when I am sad, since I always miss my kid so much when he is spending much needed time with his daddy.  Most single parents I know struggle with this too.

Having a relationship with his daddy is so healthy for Cole, and so very important to both of us, but sharing time is so hard.  But, when your child is away from you, you wish they were home. So with the expectation of the “perfect” holiday season, and sharing time, when there never seems to be enough time to go around, life as a single mama can feel pretty lonely.

Cole’s daddy and I spend a lot of time with him together, because that is what works for us, but I understand that is not the right answer for so many, so many who are still hurting from the sting of divorce. The key to happiness for the season is always being at peace with what chapter of your life you are living right now, without wishing for what used to be, or what might be in a few years.  Your children need stability and time with you more than they need a huge Christmas list (tell my Cole that, his list gets bigger every time  commercial comes on). So many in our community are mourning the loss of their precious children, so I have to think that time is the most important thing I can give Cole, tomorrow is sadly not promised.

Happy Thanksgiving and Black Friday shopping to you all. (We shop in our jammies online, my life is not worth getting into a fist fight over some towels, holla)


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