It is no secret that I had a career first, then mommy life second. I had lots of years to put in the extra hours, afternoons and weekends, go to the gym for as long as I wanted, eat what I wanted, go to the bathroom and take a shower uninterrupted (that is the one I kind of miss, out of all of these) and pretty sure watch everyone I knew have children and watch how they parented, so that by the time my life calmed down, I would have it all figured out.

(Insert big laughs here)

When I found out I was expecting, I was kind of in denial, happy denial, but still denial. I worked until I was almost in labor (and by working, I mean counseling by day and running up and down a football field with the Razorback color guard in the afternoons and evenings. I am NOT the person to whine to when you talk about how tired and horrible you feel while you are three days pregnant, for real). I kind of knew that when I had Cole, things would change dramatically, but I wanted to squeeze every last moment out of this super busy life I was leading.

Fast forward four years and my life is different than it was, but still kind of the same. Instead of filling my life with work and kind of selfish activities, my whole life is consumed with how I can be a better mommy and make a better life for Cole and me.  I usually do OK, with only the occasional snapping moment, but then, like every human being out there, I have days like today.

It is Christmas vacation for us for the rest of this week, and it has been a welcome break from school, so I have, of course, been trying to plan lots of time at home, then maybe limit activities to one a day. I love a schedule, and I feel like Cole does better (me too) when I stick to some semblance of a schedule. A friend suggested that I take Cole to the local museum, because they have a fun scavenger hunt for kids. I should add that I have chosen this week to detox from all processed foods….and diet Dr. Pepper. I have way too much junk in my diet, but girl, I am hungry right now.

Off to the museum we go, where we are the only visitors there, luckily for anyone else wanting to go there, because it turns out it was NOT the kind of museum small, wild eyed children should ever walk into, let alone be tempted by pioneer era saws and antiques that scream “please try to move me!! It’s ok! Really!”. After approximately 30 minutes of Cole literally running from room to room and me talking in my church voice, telling him to not touch anything, I decided it was time to hang it up and go home.  Cole did, however, discover a magical thing, a typewriter, which he instantly fell in love with, and begged for us to buy one for our house (???? Really?).

Our next stop was, of course, the grocery store, to buy some veggies, almond butter and quinoa (I am going to look hot in my swimsuit this summer. I am just saying). Since we live 12 seconds from Kroger (Cole’s measurements), I opted to get some gas first. I bet you didn’t know that if your tiny little man jerks the steering wheel to the right really hard, the wheel will lock and you won’t be able to start your car and leave. Oh you didn’t? Me either.

So, we are sitting in the car, trying to get someone, anyone to answer their phone to help us, and my mini me, the helper, is calling out suggestions from the backseat. ” Call Daddy!! Call Papa!! Call a tow truck, get your wallet, we have money!  (And my personal favorite) Call SANTA!!!!”. We opted not to call Santa, although I do have his number in my phone for back up, and instead asked a nice gigantic man to help us.

It was off to Kroger then, where I spilled every last bit of Cole’s cheezits and juice from his Snackeez into the floor, trying to get him out of the cart to go to the bathroom, and a nice Kroger man helped me clean it up, mostly because I think he sensed the wild look in my eyes.

For the rest of the day, we played several games, cooked a nice dinner, went to see the Christmas lights one more time, had a bath and a snuggle.

In all of my years of egotistical, careful mommy planning, I never planned for days like today. But at the end of the day, I would never trade my life with Cole for that big, busy career for anything. I am more than happy to have our little car, and our little house, with our pack of cats and dogs.

*I would not suggest ever going on a major cleanse diet while being home with your little man on a two week holiday vacation, ever, by the way, for the sake of your family, you would never make it in prison.